Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Tuesday Bachelorette Hilarity.

It's Tuesday, and you know what that means-- time to talk Bachelorette!

Tool Tuesdays

Date #1-- Kasey (previously Weird Voice Dude, now Crazy Kasey) is CREEPY.  I'm not even going to touch the random bursts into song (which were HILARIOUS).  Kasey is also the big winner of Tool Tuesday!  (It was fairly obvious this week...)


Here are a few of my favorite moments from their date:
  • "Ali was cocooned and she was trapped in this foundation of trying to look for love, and she didn't get it from Jake or anyone else, and now she's kind of expanded out into this beautiful butterfly, and she's ready, and she's open for love."  O.M.G.
  • (While in a helicopter flying above New York City)-- "This is reality."  Maybe for Donald Trump.
  • "I want Ali to know that I'm not your average guy."  That's for sure.
  • "It's just my heart.  Jump in.  Stay a while."  Ewwwww.
  • "Guard and protect her heart."  "Guard and protect her heart."  "Guard and protect her heart."  "Guard and protect her heart."  "Guard and protect her heart."  How many times did he say this stupid phrase in the course of the show? 
Date #2-- Group date with about 30 guys at the Lion King on Broadway.  This may be the most amazing date the Bachelor people have ever arranged-- being ON a Broadway stage with a hot guy?  What could be better? 
  • Jonathan (the Weatherman) was going nuts over being on Broadway almost jumping up and down he was so excited.  But, I just can't find him endearing.  First, he uses weather puns constantly-- "Forecast was for sunny skies, but all of a sudden this storm just crapped in my face."  Then, at the "after-party," he literally stared her down while she's with some other dude.  Stalker much?  But, I think I've figured out what it is about him that's so weird.  He's childish and feminine.  Almost like he's a child trying to sound like a grown up.  He just seems so little and young and not in the same league as everyone else, as evidenced by his hyper-dramatics.  He knows it too, which is why he's so whiny and insecure.
  • Kirk!  Holy cow, how sweet was he?  Putting her to bed when she was sick, telling a "bedtime story" but not taking advantage of the situation.  Major points. 

Date #3-- Chris L. seems super nice.  I'm with Ali-- a guy who loves his family as much as Chris would be really attractive.  Plus, bringing soup and flowers when sick ain't too shabby.  He's on my short list.

Chris L.

This week's observations--
  • All I can say about Kasey is that he's seriously certifiable.  Getting a tattoo to prove his genuineness to Ali?  Then the guys are literally laughing in his face when he showed it to them, and he says "They loved it.  They thought it was a great addition to my life.  They thought it was very inspiring.  They thought it was very courageous, and they thought that, you know what, Kase, I can respect you for doing something like that."  What alternate universe is he living in? (ps-- Was he already drunk before the rose ceremony started?  He started giggling more than necessary at Lawyer Craig's "joke" about Justin.)  
  • When will you people who go on these shows realize that the Bachelor/Bette is DATING MORE THAN ONE PERSON.  You knew this going in, yet now you're whining about her dating other people?  Give me a break.
  • How delusional are these people?  It's funny to me when we watch the interaction with one of the guys and Ali that is so clearly awkward, and then you hear his voice-over saying how wonderful his time with Ali was and how confident that he is to get a rose.  Seriously-- were we watching the same thing?  
Those not making the cut this week are: the Overly Dramatic Weatherman Jonathan and Cow-Loving Jesse.  Which leaves Roberto, Frank, Chris N. (I don't think I've ever seen this dude before), Justin, Kirk, Ty, and Crazy Kasey.

Next week, we head to the tropical paradise, Iceland!  Wait, what??  And, all Ali apparently needs from Crazy Kasey is for him to "be normal."  Good luck with that!


  1. Oh goodness, Kasey was just so weird this week! His singing and his tattoo and...pretty much everything that came out of his mouth. I'm so glad Jonathan and his weather puns are gone. Thanks for stopping by my blog! :)

  2. I completely agree with all the above!!!

    And since when is it okay to start singing to a girl out of nowhere on a date? thats awkward!

    love the blog!

  3. ha ha love your bachlorette analysis. This girl I knew in college works for facebook in the same office as Ali. They seemed pretty cool with her leaving, even threw her a big going away party with lots of roses!