Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Scientific Research.

I've noticed a trend in reality tv recently, which makes me wonder about reality.  (Because reality tv mirrors real life, duh.)  In the last two months, I've seen two separate (and polar opposite) men ask their dates if permission to kiss her. 

First was Lucas, the Texas gentleman from the Bachelorette.  


Second was Gary, weird New Yorker guy from Millionaire Matchmaker last night.

Gary Mancuso Jr.

Both of these seemingly put-together men asked their dates permission to kiss them before they did.  Of course, the women said yes. (Because who says no to that question on a date even if she really would like to?  Awkward.)  I think they both had different rationales-- Texas Lucas because he's a sweet guy who genuinely didn't want to cross any lines and NY Gary because he's weird and much less confident than he seemed.  

So, my question to you ladies is this:  Who wants to be asked before kissed?  Before you answer, let's assume a few things.  One, this is not some skeeze that approaches you in a bar/club.  It's a guy you've actually met and agreed to go out with.  And two, it's at the end of the date where you have (in theory) had a conversation.  

I'm genuinely curious to hear what y'all think.  I'll keep my opinion to myself for now, so as not to skew the results.  But my prediction is that less than 1/3 (maybe even less than 1/4) of women want to be asked first.  

11 comments:

  1. I would be thrown off by the question and would probably get awkward. And that completely kills the romance. Women (or at least me) just want to be swept up in the moment and kiss. It doesn't need to be professional. It needs to be personal. And asking a woman for a kiss is not personal. Or romantic. Or gonna get you a second date from me. (Unless the kiss was really good. Haha.)

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  2. I don't think I've ever had a guy ask first, and I'm okay with that.

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  3. No...I think that would be weird and awkward. Plus it would show the guy isn't very confident and that's kind of a turnoff.

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  4. You know it's funny that you brought this up last night on Twitter and then posted this blog this morning. You already know what I think of this but last night I watched the movie "Killers" starring Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl, and early in the movie towards the end of their first date, without asking, he leaned in and kissed her and I thought of all of this and the question you posed. My first reaction was "That's how you kiss a woman!" See? I know! #winning :)

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  5. The first boy I ever kissed asked me that. To me it shows a lack of confidence. Men - just go for it! Please don't ask!!

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  6. I think men are usually able to tell if women want to kiss them, so it seems like they're just second-guessing the situation if they ask. But, I guess I could maybe see a Southern guy asking? I don't know; maybe there's some suave way of asking that I haven't considered? haha.

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  7. A guy asked me first in hs I said no and walked away....Im mean

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  8. from a guy's perspective it seems really awkward and shows a lack of confidence. if there is any real chemistry or spark then there's really no need to ask, and doing so would only dampen the mood and take away all the romance.

    i find it especially funny that lucas tried this - doesn't he realize that HE'S ON THE BACHELORETTE!!! the only reason ashley is there is to hook up with each and every guy and pick the best one!! what are your second thoughts about this when the whole point of the show is for romantic drama!! and how do you expect to stay and separate yourself from the other guys if you don't even have the gumption to go in yourself? lol, some of those reality television people are so funny...

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  9. I have had 2 guys ask if they could kiss me for the first time- the first was my first kiss and I hated it because for that second I was FREAKING out! And the second was my husband and he did it very sweet because he knew I didnt just kiss anyone! So I think it depends...;-)

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  10. I noticed this too! I guess it shows respect if they ask, which is nice! But at the same time, if you're feeling what I'm feeling you should know that I'd allow it and just go for it. LOL

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  11. I think it's kind of cute if you are dating someone and you like them (and they like you) and you haven't kissed yet. But other than that, it's kind of cheesy and weird.

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