Thursday, January 10, 2013

The Night I Almost Killed My Husband.

It all started yesterday right before I left work.  I try to text a friend, but it won't go through as an iMessage or as an SMS.  I always have a horrible cell signal in my office, and the wi-fi is spotty, so this isn't an unusual occurrence.  I just put the phone down and decide to wait until I left the building to talk to anyone.

So, when I get to the lobby of the building, I pull out my phone again to text Donny about dinner.  He has class from 6-8pm on Wednesdays, and I assume he ate before he left.  But I want to make sure that I don't need to factor him into my food plans.  But once again, nothing is going through.  I try to check my email-- no internet connection.  Other apps that need internet all say the same thing.  I toss my phone in my purse figuring that AT&T is having some issue and that it will be resolved soon.  No big deal.  I have wi-fi at home, so I'll be fine when I land there.

When I walk in the door, I get ready for a couple hours at home by myself (a rarity).  And I see that Donny emailed me from school to tell me his phone isn't working and to inquire about mine.  I tell him that my 3G is out too, but with wi-fi, I'm all set.

I put on my pajamas and start to make dinner.  Nothing complicated-- some tuna salad and oven-baked potato slices (one of my favorite things).  While the potatoes bake, I turn on Private Practice and settle in to watch a show that I wouldn't watch with him.  The oven buzzes, telling me my food is ready!  I put my tuna salad and potato slices on a plate, grab some pomegranate arils, pour myself some tea, and head back to the couch.

I sit down and set my plate beside me because I see the stack of mail from the day.  The stack is bigger than normal and has a TON of junk in it.  As I get ready to discard it all, I flip to the last envelope, which is from AT&T.  I see the words "your account is subject to immediate suspension" and immediately realize what has happened.  I had forgotten to pay the cell phone bill in December.  Oops!!  (Gotta love the timing of this letter, which was being delivered around the moment when our service was suspended.  Thanks AT&T...)

So, I try to pay the bill from my phone, but as I have no service, it won't let me.  I realize that it's approaching 7pm, and I don't know what time the AT&T store closes.  I rush to put clothes back on, leave my food untouched (hoping that it won't get TOO cold by the time I return home), and head to the store.  Fortunately, when I get there, I realize the store is open until 9pm.  I go in, and the guy helps me pay my past-due balance on their little kiosk.  We restart my phone, and it immediately works.

I email Donny back to tell him to do the same-- restart his phone, and it should work fine.  Oh, and if it's not too much trouble, can he pick me up some cranberry limeade on his way home (Sonic is right across from his school).  I start my car and begin the five minute return trip to the house.

During said return trip, I get a response from him saying that he's already home-- his class was short since it was the first night.

My immediate thought goes to my food on the couch, and I know he has eaten my dinner.

I respond as fast as humanly possible -- "Don't eat my food!!!!!!"

But it's too late.

I walk into the house to see my plate of delicious potato slices almost empty and the tuna salad half-eaten.

And I fall to the ground wailing, "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Well maybe not that dramatic, but I did yell (through the giggles because I just KNEW it was happening).  And I quickly snatched the plate away to consume what was left of my dinner as I gave him the stink-eye from across the room while he laughed uncontrollably.

He did apologize, which did me no good.  My dinner was gone!  But then he volunteered to go get me some frozen yogurt to make up for it, so all was settled in our house.  :)


  1. awe boys. This is too funny. Guys just can't resist a plate of food sitting out. :-)

  2. Hahahaha....this post was hilarious :) Totally not what I expected, but I love it :)

  3. Haha I loved this post. : ] You're a hoot.

  4. This is too funny! Typical man!'s a plate of food. I'm sure it's meant for me! :)
    You need to share your potato slice recipe! It sounds delish!

  5. Hahahaha! He probably thought you made it for him. Men. ;-)

  6. I would fall to the floor dramatically if that happened to me. I mean, gosh. Don't guys get it?! lol. Love it.