Among our small group of friends, I was closest with Sarah for years. For some reason, she and I just clicked. We laughed, we shared, we prayed. We traveled together and even went on a cruise together (where everyone apparently assumed that two single women traveling together had to be lesbians...). But it was hilarious. Everything was hilarious with Sarah and me.
She's moved to a new city now. She's back with that boy. And she has a new job. All of which I learned from facebook. I haven't spoken to her in over a year. She missed my wedding.
I don't know if it's the way it all went down with Sarah or is a testament to how deep our friendship used to go, but I really miss her. I miss the old Sarah who broke out into song and dance every time Beyonce came on the radio, who was endearingly obsessed with dinosaurs, and who was so much fun to be around. It's been over a year since we've spoken, and I really miss her. I feel hurt by her still, and I also feel some anger toward her for not giving us the benefit of the doubt and forgiveness when we asked for it.
But more than any of that, I just miss her.
"I went about mourning as though for my friend or brother.
I bowed my head in grief as though weeping for my mother."