Thursday, May 30, 2013

A Parade of Morons.

It is that time of year again-- Bachelorette season!  I have a pattern of loving these people when they are contestants (Emily being the exception to this rule-- I never liked her), but then when they get their own season, they somehow become super annoying.  I hope Desiree does not fall victim to this because I think she is lovely.

I've never really wanted to be the Bachelorette, but if Chris is in the business of swapping out ten year old Honda Civics for brand new Carolina blue Bentleys, I might be persuaded!  (Hope the husband doesn't mind...)
Of course, then the parade of morons begins, and I decide no car is worth it.  Here are some of the winners that the ABC producers have selected for Desiree...

1. The Tailor/Magician-- I really don't even know what to say about this guy other than he genuinely has listed his occupation as a Tailor/Magician.  This is a joke, right??
2. The Hashtag Guy-- Kasey (apparently) works in social media.  Therefore, he feels the need to provide constant commentary via hashtag comments.  #stop
3. The Naked Guy-- Zak is from the middle of nowhere in Texas, where it seems that he is perpetually naked.  So it's only natural that he appears half naked to meet his potential future wife to ask her to "accept these abs."  (And shock of all shocks, she gives him a rose.)
4. The Tin Man-- No really, he wore a true life suit of armor.  'Nuff said.
5. The Whiner-- This guy attempted to spin and dip Desiree in a highly practiced dance (on 50ish people, according to poor Larry).  Sadly for him, she stumbled and her shoes got caught on her dress.  I honestly think he could've gotten through round one despite this misstep (haha), but the guy could NOT let it go.  He spent his whole time with her whining about how upset he was that his moves didn't go well.  Good gracious, man-- it happened, you apologized, it's over.  Learn to laugh at yourself and quit whining.
6. The Sexual Predator-- Of course, I can't very well recap this show without mentioning the creeper.  This lunatic (who btw-- is a lawyer from a town about an hour from here, I'm sad to say...) shows up and his first words are to proposition Desiree.  Later, he does it again.  And then finally a THIRD time before she finally tells him to get the heck out of there.  Then Jonathan drops the winning line, "My mom says I'm good looking."  Oh honey...

It's always hard to tell from the first night who is going to turn out to be a good guy, and this year was no different.  The producers play up the crazy pretty hard on night one, so I didn't see much normal.  Hopefully as the weeks progress, the good guys will start to emerge.

Did you watch?  What were your thoughts?  Have an early favorite?  
No spoilers please!!


  1. Usually there's at least one guy I like from the start, but they're all kind of dull ... or creepy. Poor Des. I like her, but I'm afraid there might not be a match for her in that "parade of morons."

  2. My jaw literally dropped when he said "my mom says I'm good looking." Seriously!? All moms say that! haha The episode was definitely entertaining!
    I also love how at the beginning, it show her getting out of her beat up car, yet she was wearing an expensive red dress. um. ok? #notreallife
    Had to throw that hash tag in there for mr. social media guy! ha

  3. ahahaha. I got so excited when "parade of morons" popped up on my feed this morning -- it's BACHELORETTE WITH KATIE TIME!!!! I really don't know if I could handle all these yahoos. The magician was driving me crazy and I wasn't even there. I loved the dad with the kid (but, I don't know if I'd ever want to bring a kid of mine onto a dating reality show!) Excited for this season!

  4. These people are beyond ridiculous. I was so frustrated watching it. I feel like ABC makes these people into characters. I would still watch it even if they were just themselves, and I'd be less apt to find it so annoying! The naked guy was too much. And I HATE that she gave him a rose for jumping into the pool!