Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Liars, Creepers, and Roses.

This week's episode was full of drama.  Perhaps you'd even say it was the most dramatic episode ever!!  Well, probably not unless you were Chris Harrison...

First, there was a group date with 10 guys.  They had a dodgeball tournament after being shown the ropes by a professional dodgeball team.  Yes, I wrote that sentence, and yes it's true.  There really are professional dodgeball players.  Who knew??
They have their "fight to the death" in a dodgeball cage.  Best out of three, and the blue team wins.  But not without a casualty-- Brooks breaks his finger and has to go to the hospital to have it reset (I got a little queasy during the footage of him at the hospital.  Poor guy...).  I hope they can fix his hair while he's there too.
This here is why men shouldn't have long hair-- 
they will be tempted to pull it back in hideous fashion.
But, rule-breaker that she is, Des decides to not just take the winning team to the cocktail party, but all the guys because she "needs time with them."

At the cocktail party, Brad tells Des about his son and baby mama drama.  I appreciate that this information waited until the third week and wasn't thrown on her immediately upon his arrival...  Points for Brad for handling this information well.  Brooks makes his triumphant return, and they make out.  She's clearly digging him, even in his dodgeball get-up.  Chris gets the rose after a very slightly-aired chat on the roof.  Brooks shoots eye-daggers at him, but he doesn't notice as they walk to a private concert by Kate Earl (who???).

The one on one date goes to Kasey (ps-- when will people stop spelling their boy Casey names with a K??).  But first, we have to deal with Brian.  Brian apparently has a girlfriend, and she is PISSED (not to mention, a real winner...).  They fight for a while, and I really don't believe either of their stories.  Des sends him packing, and he's escorted out by some big dude.
Brandon is bizarrely emotional about this turn of events, blaming it on his own feelings of being left by his mommy's boyfriends when he was young.  He can't believe that Brian would do that to a single mom.  Oh Brandon... please oh please get yourself some therapy.  Just not on national television.  This guy has stalker written all over him.
Kasey is pretty gracious about Brian's drama raining his date parade, and they head out to... rappel down a building.  Shock of all shocks!  That has never been done on The Bachelor before!  Oh wait, this time they're adding a little ballet into the mix.  And I've got to admit, it actually looked like a lot of fun.
After their acrobatics, they have dinner on a rooftop, make out in pool #2 of this season (awkwardly, with towels on their heads...), and try to escape the cold and wind.  Des feels like the whole day was off, but Kasey is so sweet and gracious with a great attitude, so she gives him a rose.

Next up is Group Date #2!  The five guys going on today's date are all excited about the Bentley or the limo that's going to take them to their destination only to walk out and find... a stagecoach and horses.
The stagecoach takes them to a ranch where they meet up with stunt coordinators from the new The Lone Ranger movie (shameless plug for ABC's parent company Disney!) and go through a "cowboy boot camp."  Juan Pablo "wins" the competition and gets some one-on-one time with Desiree.  They settle in to watch The Lone Ranger on what looks like the least comfortable loveseat ever.
They all re-convene around a bonfire.  Bryden has finally gotten a tip from a show stylist and done something with his hair to make him look less like Lloyd Christmas (thanks for the reference, Sar!).  James whines himself into getting the rose (she's such a sucker for a sad guy).

No cocktail party this evening, but a pool party instead!  But before she can even walk in the door, Ben tries to grab her and get some time without any of the guys knowing.  They make out in the driveway, and of course, everyone sees and just hates him even more.
Mikey confronts Ben again, because I guess he's the hall monitor of the guys' house.  Brandon continues to be overly emotional and creepy, giving her the most awkward kiss ever, and tells her that he's falling in love with her.  "There's not much else to think about except how perfect and how meant to be we really are."
Jim's face sums it up best...
Des picks a much better dress this week than last week's green/camo situation.
She also isn't an idiot and sends Brandon home.  Along with Dan, who I don't even remember.  I can't tell if this is shock or murderous rage on Brandon's face...
Brandon, of course, has a huge pity party.  "Once again, someone left me... I can't even cry.  I'm just out of tears."  I genuinely hope that this guy gets some therapy.

I'm looking forward to next week's Mr. America competition!  What did you guys think??

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