Monday, June 8, 2015

Ups and Downs.

This weekend was one of great highs and a very deep low.  It started off great-- Friday afternoon, I spent some quality time with my grandmother and her sister before Donny and I picked up a piano that a long-time family friend was giving away for free.  I've been out of practice for so long that I can barely remember what the notes on the bass clef are, but it's coming back to me slowly.  I'm absolutely loving having it in our home!
Saturday, I was at my usual summer Saturday spot-- the pool with my book.  Fortunately for me, it was graduation day for our county's high schools, so there were significantly less people at the pool.  The weather was warm, the water was cool, and my book was intriguing.  I couldn't have asked for a more relaxing day.
I'm reading The Astronaut Wives Club and loving it.  It's a fascinating and unique story that I've never really considered before.  I am starting to get a little lost in the names now that there are almost 50 astronauts (and their wives) in the space program.  But I'm getting through anyway because their stories are so compelling.
Saturday night, we also got doughnuts!  Since the line on National Doughnut Day at Krispy Kreme was wrapped around the building and into the street on Friday, we decided that it wasn't worth saving a dollar and we'd just come back the next day.  KK now has these delicious lemon doughnuts for summer!!   And I love anything with lemon. Yum yum.
Sunday, however, was where the wheels came off the wagon, so to speak.  Our beloved Bible Fellowship leaders, who have become wonderful friends and mentors to us in the last year, announced that they would no longer be leading our class, as God was calling them to find another church home.  Their announcement was nothing short of devastating for me personally and our class.  It's hard for me to even describe the range of emotions that I've been wildly vacillating between for the last 24 hours.  Of course, I'm very sad and disappointed.  And as irrational as it may be, I also feel angry and betrayed.  Why have I wasted so much time investing in a relationship with them just for them to leave us?  

Then I remember that God's ways are not our ways.  And his plan is better than what we can see.  And of course, their decision to leave our class and church is not a personal affront to me.  It's just so sad to me when people leave and relationships change.  But despite my sadness, I'm choosing to trust that God has an even better plan for us and for our class.  It's incredibly hard to look toward the future with hope when the present is painful.  But praise be to God that His Spirit lives in me and gives me perspective that I can't see with my human eyes.  I'm sure that I'll go back and forth between emotions for a while because I'm so human-- I just pray that in my sad or angry moments I choose to trust in God.  HE is the great teacher and mentor and friend, far beyond what any person can be. 

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. 
For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."  
2 Corinthians 4:18